Silence is key to stregthen yourself

Silence has energy to it like no other source. It has the power to get people to think and to act, it can help slow the mind down, and it is a powerful assistant in the likes of therapy and life coaching.

What happens when there is silence?

We turn our thoughts and focus inwards and gain the power we need to refuel our minds. Our ego is temporarily switched off or at least made to be quiet for a bit, and we start to see the real family as it should be. Our thoughts get in the way of our reality sometimes and we don’t see the beauty of the family around us. When there is silence there is time for self-analysis and to allow your true self to speak, not the ego, not the conscious mind but the true self connected to the flow of energy around us.

5 Examples of when to use silence:

1. during arguments. One of the best times to use the power of silence is during an argument is to stay silent. Egoistic reply can end the argument; you will win the battle of argument on contrary hurting the next person’s heart easily. Wounds created by words are much dipper than the sword. The ego will be trying to force its way out of you and finish the argument but You are the controller, not the ego. When someone is shouting at you, looking for an argument or just picking on you can literally take all the power away from them and keep all your energy by simply looking at them and saying absolutely nothing. This is extremely difficult to do but very powerful.

2. Gossiping. When there is a group of ladies in the office, there are gossipers who speak about other people. The thing with gossiping is that it is infectious. When we don’t like someone and others start speaking about them we naturally tend to voice our opinion. I also feel to put my opinion about the person sometime, whom I do not like. However I control myself.

Try and stop yourself from catching the virus of gossiping and use the power of silent whenever it occurs. If you are a gossiper yourself and people around start to notice that you are ‘not your usual self’, don’t give an explanation just leave saying you’ve got work to do or whatever, pretty soon you’ll be out of the gossiping loop.

3. When someone is talking. Silence is a great tool for analysts if used in the right way. It’s also great when listening to friends and aged in family.

Just let people talk and listen to them and use your facial expressions and movements to acknowledge that you are listening, it is hard to learn facial expressions while listening. Your eyes speak louder than your words, slight unintentional expression of eyes leads in disappointment for the person who is talking with you. This can be a tough thing to do but extremely powerful for both you, as the listener, and the talker.

You will find that as you practice this, more people come to talk to you as you will be known as a listener. Obviously there are times to speak during the conversation, however when you do, make sure it is to summarize what the talker is saying or asking questions to get more information, don’t make it about yourself.

When people want to know more about you they will ask you questions, this is the time to talk about yourself but always have the listener be part of the conversation.

4. When the house is empty. The silence of the home can be quite disturbing to some, as there is a natural need to fill the void of silence. We turn on the radio, play some music, call friends or family, or turn on the TV to fill this void. Having a completely silent home when you are alone does not mean you are alone it simply means you are recharging your mind and giving it some downtime.

Silence helps us to work through, in our minds, the events of the day what we want to happen during the day ahead. Try to become the first person up in the morning which means you have another couple of hours to work on your spiritual energy and health.

I know it’s harder when you are alone, however silent time can be used to think about the life you want and work out ways to get it.

5. Quiet reflection. This is a fantastic way to connect with family in a way that is not possible when you are surrounded by noise. 15 minutes in the morning, 15 minutes in the evening simply focusing on your breath can do wonders for both mind and body. I truly believe that with practice quiet reflection can help us reach a level of deep inner calm. Everyday thanks to God that, because of his blessing, you are enjoying life with such a beautiful family surrounding you. ‘Greatest moment of life is to see your parents are happy and the reason behind it is you’.

The state of silence is a way of reaching another part of your mind not possible when going about your daily routine. This other part of your mind is connected in every way to the world around you and with practice you can tap into this knowledge.

The past is to prove that no one is perfect and the future is to prove that everyone can change!

Life: learning to dance in the rain

Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain

There are so many worries all around us. It’s easy to get overload by the doubts and the challenges that the external environment poses in front of us. It seems much easier to delay decisions; expecting that the clouds of uncertainties and the storm of challenges will pass by, leaving us in a much better and calm state to take decisions, to answer the difficult queries in our mind we have been avoiding for long and pick up the threads of life.

 
However, it doesn’t always happen like that. Often we find ourselves hit by a new storm, just as we are improving from one and jump from one state of doubt to another. Life is often an endless chain of chaos linked by a few indeterminate pauses.  “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain” – Vivian Greene
When one thinks of starting something, we often look for a stable, risk free environment, where we feel our actions will lead to the anticipated output with more faith. However, it’s very difficult to find the perfect time for starting up. Even, while in our life, we need to plan a new course, we often delay decision making. Maybe, the race is strong, with a major competitor. Problems can appear in many shapes and forms.

Sometimes, we hope, the problems will take care of themselves or will simply go away by us looking in the other direction. Or, we hope that one day when we wake up, there will be a clear sky, with a sign for us to move forward. Unfortunately, that’s not going to happen.

One thing, that almost all of us will agree upon is, that things are going to become more difficult in the coming days. Market conditions, Research & Development, new technology launches, get appointed in right organization are all going to become more difficult and definitely cost more in the future. So, if you have an idea, which you think, can change your life, there’s no better time to set cruise.

The right thing to do will be to let you adjust to the environment and be agile and responsive to changing dynamics in the world.

Performance Appraisal

Time has come for Performance appraisal, so thought of sharing it.

People worry about Performance Appraisals. How hard to guillotine your performance rating. The management does not like it either. You may think they love playing the hangman, but they don’t. Most of them fear the discussion that follows – not to mention the labor of filling up elaborate appraisal forms that organization likes to have. Instead of gratefulness towards their management for filling up these forms, the employees get battle-ready when they step in for a discussion.
 

This is where it gets tough for a management too. Having to disappoint someone by telling them that their performance was not good enough makes most squirms. So performance appraisals cause a lot of anxiety regardless of where someone is in the food chain.

I believe that the appraisal form, the rating scale etc. are the unimportant elements of the process that takes up most of the airtime. The only element of significance is the appraiser’s ability to differentiate shades of quality in the output and to use that data to help the appraisee improve.
 

Many employees hate the process of differentiation based on performance. That is because we are often poor judges of our own performance. An overwhelming majority of employees rate themselves as “above average” in skill and overrate their contributions towards organization. Since this is statistically impossible, it is not surprising that appraisals are disappointing for most people. Hence the skill of the person giving the feedback matters even more.
 

Getting feedback about one’s work is the biggest value one could get from the appraisal process. More frequent feedback has the ability to motivate an employee far more than an annual conversation. We all know that highly motivated individuals perform better. Many parents have the ability to help their children reinvent themselves after experiencing failure.
 

The popular game Angry Birds was the software maker Rovio’s 52nd attempt. Failure can be the trigger for success.
 

How energized and confident an appraisee feels after a discussion about performance is a direct reflection on the management’s skill.